As is the way with many things in life, it didn't exactly turn out the way we imagined, and it ended in divorce, but not until after twenty seven and a half years - we didn't give up lightly! From this point, until his death in 2000, we were better friends, if you can understand that?
This morning, while reading a poem by Lawrence Durrell entitled 'Bitter Lemons', four lines in particular set me thinking. The major factor which ended our marriage, was lack of communication, and, as often happens when you least expect it, my muse prodded me to write a poem on the subject, which I share with you now.Non-Communication
Your silence echoes in my head,
circles round the words, like lead
encircling stained glass shapes
of thoughts unspoken. What makes
depression's dark descend,
brings conversations to an end
in anger's fizzing, flurried flame
that douses my soul, damns my name?
Better leave the rest unsaid
keep its calms like tears unshed
where the moon's cool fevers burn
in an island of bitter lemons.
These last four lines, although shuffled, are credited to Lawrence Durrell, with my thanks, and may be found in their right order in 'Bitter Lemons.' Sorry I can't find the poem on the internet, to give you a link...
Late Edition, Friday... Doctor FTSE has kindly written it out as a comment, which I now copy for you here.
"In an island of bitter lemons
where the moon's cool fevers burn
from the dark globes of the fruit,
and the dry grass underfoot
tortures memory and revises
habits half a lifetime dead.
Better leave the rest unsaid.
Beauty. Darkness. Vehemence -
Let the old sea-nurses keep
their memorials of sleep
and the Greek sea's curly head
keeps its calms like tears unshed,
keeps its calms like tears unshed."
Yes, I can easily understand how you became better friends. Two civilised people, obviously.
ReplyDeleteLaurence Durrell is a very underestimated poet in my opinion, so thank you for giving him an airing.
Nicely done, Jinksy. I totally understand. It's the same way with my ex and me.
ReplyDeleteA fine and genuine poem. Happily, it worked out for you guys in the end.
ReplyDeleteAs I read this, I think of the sweet fragrance of lemon leaves and blossoms, and the bitter taste of the fruit - kind of sums up marriage!
ReplyDeleteI can see how that is possible Jinksy.
ReplyDeleteNot being the best communicator with the Mrs. is something that gets me in trouble here despite a dozen plus years of marriage.
Non-communication is a great killer of relationships all right... Love the poem, the images, especially where silence is likened to lead
ReplyDeleteencircling stained glass shapes
of thoughts unspoken.
I enjoyed this a lot.
ReplyDeleteThose walls that silence build up feel so unbreakable at times.
Wonderfully crafted, and I like your use of rearranged lines.
ReplyDelete"lead
ReplyDeleteencircling stained glass shapes
of thoughts unspoken"
that is one image to be framed and put on the wall...so expressive...
Oh, Jinksy, I know about lack of communication, and you have put it into the perfect words. Thank you for being a poet today, when I seem unable to think for myself.
ReplyDeleteSad orchard, for lack of any words but your fine ones for absence.
ReplyDeletepeople can even live in the same room as unbridged islands...vividly expressed.
ReplyDeleteWonderful, Jinksy. I am always in awe of poets...
ReplyDeletePearl
Jinksy- My sister's marraige crumbled after 27 years, too. I'm glad you remained friends, though. Your poem is very moving... sounds like depression contributed to the lack of communication. Blessings, my dear.
ReplyDeleteJinksy,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing the background to your poem. A bitter sweet event in all ways and sad too.
Not an easy subject to write about, when one has been there and felt the emotions involved.
Thank you Penny for putting it into a poetic form.
Eileen :)
We reside in joined space and drown in our silence while we eat bitter lemons....wonderful piece
ReplyDeleteAh the number 7. Yes, quite meaningful. I was divorced after 7 years to my first husband. I like your poem ... it is like a tribute to the friendship that you cultivated with your ex after your divorce. I wrote a comment here before but I am attempting to comment as a WP user and I am not having luck.
ReplyDeleteVery meaningful and lovely share... I agree lack of communication can kill a relationship ~
ReplyDeleteJinksy, I have known a few different couples who remained VERY good friends after their divorces. They just weren't meant to be married. Ah yes, lack of communication. A subject I think many can identify with. The words "Your silence echoes in my head" resonate with me. I have known such people, and it is darned uncomfortable to be around them.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid Ada often treats me with Bitter Lemon silence, enough to make me weep...
ReplyDeleteSomehow, it reminded me of a poem I had read by Pablo Neruda, called 'I like you when you are quiet.' I wonder if you make the connection there or not... do read it, it's a wonderfully heartfelt poem.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Arnab Majumdar
ScribbleFest.com
Amazing poem!
ReplyDelete"what makes depression's dark descend" ...
ReplyDeleteexcellent!
thoughtful piece.
ReplyDelete:)
Oh, I too identify with these words.(Long ago.)
ReplyDeleteSo beautifully conveyed Pen, an excellent piece of writing. x
"In an island of bitter lemons
ReplyDeletewhere the moon's cool fevers burn
from the dark globes of the fruit,
and the dry grass underfoot
tortures memory and revises
habits half a lifetime dead.
Better leave the rest unsaid.
Beauty. Darkness. Vehemence -
Let the old sea-nurses keep
their memorials of sleep
and the Greek sea's curly head
keeps its calms like tears unshed,
keeps its calms like tears unshed."
I can't find it on the www either, Penny, but I think the above is pretty near the original. Note the lovely vowel sounds in lines 2 and 3. Read it aloud. You just cannot rush those lines. They work like a ritenuto in music.
Thanks for writing that out, Doc! I read everything aloud in my head, would you believe? :)
ReplyDeleteGosh, my second husband and I were 27 years together before divorcing, and better friends afterwards until his death a couple of years later. (I am blessed to be third-time-lucky for 19 years now - amazing.) Thanks for this insightful reminder.
ReplyDeleteMy God that was amazing, Penny.....I LOVE IT. I'm going to use it somewhere for something, I know I will :) Full credits of course...may I?
ReplyDeleteJinksy,
ReplyDeleteSO glad that I 'stole' a few moments to stop in. Your words always speak to me in some way ~~ usually with a giggle, but today, it was toward the wistful and poignant. Thank you ~~ love the poem. I was also married to a Mr. Smith ~~ for 21 years. We were one of those lethal combinations ~~ better as individuals but poison together! Definitely NOT friends in the end, although I would prefer it that way, especially in a small town, but, oh well.
Thank you for sharing. Bitter Lemons. That's it exactly. I like to take them and make lemonade. ;^)
Cynthia L.H. - And the fact that you end up with lemonade, shows you win over any bitterness – and that has to be a good thing! :)
ReplyDelete