If you listen carefully to the words in the following ditty you can find the clue as to why I chose such a title for this long overdue post, which will inevitably be a true, napple-rambling note...
I have no idea when early cave men's descendants decided shirts and ties would be worn in favour of pelts, furs or plain old bare skin (!), but somewhere along the way, decide it they did. And ties, plain or bow, have caused many a wrinkled brow ever since.
I once had to give a fifteen minute lecture to a class of fellow teachers, on the intricacies of tying both kinds. Maybe that accounts for the secret wish I've harboured ever since... to grab the tie of an unsuspecting male, and slice it in two with a snip from some sharp shears. Not quite on a par with Tome Lehrer's cruel cut, as no bloodstains would result, but equally final.
I have yet to realise this ambition, so beware...
But on a more serious note, during my long absence from blog world, I have created a few ties, amongst them this colourful version for a birthday gift - hence the candle!
However, the third and anything but serious reference comes in honour of the great Victoria Wood whose recent death has left the world saddened, even while laughter continues in the wake of such a genius. If you've never heard her rendition of "The Ballad Of Barry And Freda", I urge you to seek it out.
Freda and Barry sat one night.
The sky was clear the stars were bright.
The wind was soft. The moon was up.
Freda drained her cocoa cup
She licked her lips. She felt sublime.
She switched off Gardener's Question Time.
Barry cringed in fear and dread
as Freda grabbed his tie and said:
To whet your appetite, these are the first two stanzas, with their reference in the last line which brings my subject full circle. :-)