Sunday, 1 May 2016

Ties that bind?

If you listen carefully to the words in the following ditty you can find the clue as to why I chose such a title for this long overdue post, which will inevitably be a true, napple-rambling note...



I have no idea when early cave men's descendants decided shirts and ties would be worn in favour of pelts, furs or plain old bare skin (!), but somewhere along the way, decide it they did. And ties, plain or bow, have caused many a wrinkled brow ever since.
I once had to give a fifteen minute lecture to a class of fellow teachers, on the intricacies of tying both kinds. Maybe that accounts for the secret wish I've harboured ever since... to grab the tie of an unsuspecting male, and slice it in two with a snip from some sharp shears. Not quite on a par with Tome Lehrer's cruel cut, as no bloodstains would result, but equally final.
I have yet to realise this ambition, so beware...

But on a more serious note, during my long absence from blog world, I have created a few ties, amongst them this colourful version for a birthday gift - hence the candle!
I tried both crochet and knitting, but I think the knitted one shown here worked best, although the boredom quotient is equally high for either method, due to the long length and narrow width. I think a mesmerised state ensues after the first twelve inches or so...

However, the third and anything but serious reference comes in honour of the great Victoria Wood whose recent death has left the world saddened, even while laughter continues in the wake of such a genius. If you've never heard her rendition of "The Ballad Of Barry And Freda", I urge you to seek it out.


Freda and Barry sat one night.
The sky was clear the stars were bright.
The wind was soft. The moon was up.
Freda drained her cocoa cup

She licked her lips. She felt sublime.
She switched off Gardener's Question Time.
Barry cringed in fear and dread
as Freda grabbed his tie and said:

To whet your appetite, these are the first two stanzas, with their reference in the last line which brings my subject full circle. :-)


15 comments:

  1. Let's do it!!!!!
    How I miss her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I won't argue with either statement... :-)

      Delete
  2. I was very sad to learn of her death but what a cornucopia of delight she has left - such wit.

    Incidentally, I applaud you for your knitted candle - 5 stitch button borders are my limit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Erm...Crossed wires somewhere m'dear ? I only knitted the tie. Wax candles are beyond me! lol :-)

      Delete
  3. Two hilarious songs. Victoria Wood went to the Girls' side of my old school - a sort of semi-detached co-ed in the North of England. I do wonder if she will be commemorated on the Honours Board. She should be. Thanks, Jinks . . . for the tie as well as the post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congrats on reaching another Candle Blowing Milestone, Doc!

      Delete
  4. Congratulations on the tie ... such patience !

    And yes , very sad about Victoria Wood . It seems impossible that she'll write nothing more ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Patience or idiocy on my part, that's the question?!

      But let's hope another writer will be filled with similar inspiration to Victoria's before too long - fingers crossed...

      Delete
  5. Ties are such an odd piece of apparel in the never-changing world of men's fashion. Oddly enough, I just saw someone snip a tie on tv yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Must be a kindred spirit?! :-)

      Delete
  6. Beat me on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly! Hard to believe her name has been added to the ever growing list of treasures that have been taken from us this year. By the way I favour the Windsor knot for my straight ties! Great to see you blogging again.

    Visit Keith's Ramblings

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha! There speaks a true Victoria Woods fan. *smiles*

      Delete
  7. Hi! Yes, Victoria Wood was unique. Such a naturally funny lady. Welcome back to Blogland and thanks for visiting mine!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was such a relief to find your blog was still up and running, unlike the many Bloglanders who seem to have 'upped and runned'!
      *smiles*

      Delete

Curiosity Cats can leave a whisker here...but not before noting, please, that I choose to have an award free, tag free, meme free blog. But by all means, talk to me by email - I love to 'chat'...