No, not an oyster. Me. And yes, the answer is a noisy noise, but what from, is the question? Well, okay, apart from screaming kids at the checkout, war time sirens, or fingernails scraping down a distempered wall, it's water pipes that judder like pneumatic drills.
After paying a plumber an exorbitant amount to investigate the cause, he announced it was due to a leak in my water meter, which was allowing air into the system. He advised me to contact my water company, which I did- on 16th August.
As we are now galloping into September and the noise has not abated, I 'phoned to check whether Portsmouth Water had made any attempt to sort the leak. According to the customer service doyen, a report had been made that part of the meter had been 'tightened'. Hmm...
Next Tuesday another 'operative', as the jargon goes, will call to inspect it further, and to get my personal report of the problem. What a joy that will be. I can hardly wait...
Meantime, I daresn't turn a hot tap on beyond a measly trickle, or the pipes sound as though the wrath of the gods is upon me. Perhaps it is...
Maybe, when I wrote the following lines a while back, I should have known it might not be not be the end of the matter.
The Gurgler
There's a Gurgler in my sink
and I think he wants a drink.
When I slowly shift the plug,
that is when he starts to glug
as the water's rushing down.
I do hope that he won't drown.
It can't be very nice to swallow
soapy water from a hollow
gushing, waterpipe (so gloomy!)
in the sink of my bathroomy.
Me too, you might notice, I too am award free and meme free.
ReplyDeleteI delight in your Gurglar, clearly a form of house gremlin, many of whom have engaged my properties through the years. Some of them are to be eradicated as this one is, others you live with, in a more or less easy relationship. They demand only a little in many of their guises.
I believe they are very much involved in my fate, as I was taught, I believe, by one long ago sf writer named Robert Sheckley. He pointed out that I cannot avoid these gremlins though I can treat them better thus attracting a better class of companion and thus fate, or worse and thus worse fate. Heh.
That noise is as nothing compared to the noise you will make when you receive your water bill.
ReplyDeleteOr is water free in the UK, like health care?
Christopher -
ReplyDeleteI like the reasoning behind the better class of gremlin versus worse fate! LOL :)
And RWP -
The plumber charged me £70.50, but Portsmouth Water looks after the outside pipes free of charge. I just pay for the water I use.
at least you can find the fun in the poetry mused from an annoyance haha
ReplyDeleteI bet that is annoying. We have not had the pleasure of that thumping before, but the teens and their delightful stereo systems regularly make the windows patter.
ReplyDeleteA gurgling pipe... we have a squeaky ceiling fan...life's little eccentricities.
ReplyDeleteHaving read your post Jinksy I think i have found one of the very few 'perks' from being deaf!!
ReplyDeleteHope your gurgling noises soon abate!
ReplyDeleteNo doubt you'll have to stay in all day since these 'operatives' can never give a definite time. They may say morning or afternoon, I suppose, though that's not much help.
ReplyDeleteHope your pipes shut up soon. Enjoyed The Gurgler - thank you :-) Jo
ReplyDeleteI hope your Gurgler starts a diet
ReplyDeleteSo you can enjoy some peace and quiet.
"Part of the meter had been tightened."
ReplyDeleteHmmm. Possibly not the correct part.
Or, maybe too tight.
I hope it isn't all the way into your house.
Reminds me of this old ditty:
ReplyDelete"A mother was washing her baby one night,
The youngest of ten and a delicate mite.
The mother was poor and the baby was thin,
'Twas naught but an skelingtin covered with skin.
The mother turned 'round for a soap off the rack.
She was only a moment but when she turned back
Her baby had gone, and in anguish she cried,
"Oh, where 'as my baby gone?" The angels replied:
Oh, your baby has gone down the plug 'ole.
Oh, your baby has gone down the plug.
The poor little thing was so skinny and thin,
He should 'ave been washed in a jug, in a jug.
Your baby is perfectly happy;
He won't need a bath anymore.
He's a-muckin' about with the angels above,
Not lost but gone before.
OMG~! When we lived in Bucks the house on Cherry Tree Lane Beaconsfield had air in the pipes and nearly drove me batty!!! I was known as that loony American until the "little man" came around and heard it for himself, announcing to anyone who would listen that there was no wonder I was "crazy". Didn't take them long to sort it out!! Hope you have luck getting yours repaired as well!
ReplyDeleteand in he meantime, you have free gurgling emanating from your pipes. There's not a lot that comes free nowadays.
ReplyDeleteSorry about your pipes, but that poem is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteYou got me grinning hugely with the poem. :-) I love it! And that's even mildly saying it. :-) Now let me skitter off to my room where I intend to roll on the floor laughing my bladder out! :-)
ReplyDeleteYour poems definitely need to be published my dear! And illustrated me thinks. Although I'm already seeing the Gurgler in my mind's eye.
ReplyDeleteHope the noise will soon disappear. I have not much faith in 'operatives' myself, but I hope yours will do the job!
Stay sane (if possible) ;-)
Penny, a funny little poem. Sorry about your banging pipes though. I laughed at Gerry's poem here :-) - Dave
ReplyDeleteIn our previous place, our pipes use to grind after we had been away for awhile and they had become dry. Thankfully, they soon revered.
ReplyDelete