Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Is This A Vignette I see Before Me?

The ceremonial shield hung on a pole, outside their tent. Later that day, his father would present it to him, as a symbol of his coming of age. But it would be years before he would  wield it in battle. The Carver had been paid many pelts to produce it, for the metal studs and boss took days to perfect, and the intricate carving had been designed to ward off evil spirits.He ran his fingers over its surface, marvelling at the details, and feeling their hidden power tingling up his arm.

Hal was twelve summers old, and his blonde hair tickled his face but stung his eyes as the wind whipped it harder. His cloak too, was flapping around his bare legs like a banner, tugging at the silver clasp fastened on his shoulder.  His mother and sisters had been working for months to spin and weave enough cloth to make it, and had given him the silver clasp only this morning, in honour of his initiation. The Warrior Brotherhood would teach him all the skills he would need to become a worthy member of their tribe.

Tess Kincaid at Magpie Tales asked for a poem or vignette inspired by her photo of this shield. I already wrote a humourous poem, but wanted to try something more serious, so who better to tell me whether this constitutes a vignette, than fellow Blogpals? Can't wait to hear your opinions...

16 comments:

  1. Wow - you're good at serious too!

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  2. Coming of age, always a great read.

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  3. A belated happy Birthday to you. A very dignified age to be sure! Those birthdays with a zero are milestones to be celebrated.

    I have just returned from a sojourn in Australia and caught up with your recent blogs.

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  4. Great ! I wanted to read more ....

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  5. I liked it a lot Jinksy. Always like a bit of history with a picture to go with it.
    Happy Birthday from Tennessee.
    Star x

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  6. Hmmm, nice one, loved the 12 summers, and the delicate attention to emotion by means of the silver clasp being given to him. Lovely Magpie.

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  7. I don't know if it's a vignette but I liked your story Pen - Dave

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  8. Reads like the beginning paragraphs of Chapter 1 in the book you're going to write. Yes, you need to write it. :)

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  9. Yes. I was interested to know what a vignette is. Whatever, this is a good one. But Jinksy 2 is more fun.
    (Cor! The verification word is ERATO. Google it!)

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  10. Don't I mean Jinksy 1. Your other one anyway!

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  11. You can be serious all the time as far as I'm concerned. Very good beginning!...and I want to read the rest of the story.

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  12. Reads like the beginning of an intriguing novel.....

    I think is is a great vignette.

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  13. Now I've linked the two. Should have come here first before I read 'part 11' but that's okay because it's a lovely story. I love the 'twelve summers' and I couldn't help but think of Henry Vth when I read 'Hal'.

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  14. Yes! And a very evocative vignette, I must say. Nice.

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