Sunday, 17 May 2009

I'm Done To A Turn

Roastwise, that is, Authorblog style...and not a barbecue in sight. I could tell the temperature was rising in the oven already, as I'd been asked by David late on Friday for a Self Portrait to garnish the roast. Panic set in. I'm the one who hides behind the camera, rather than parades before it, and this request could not have come at a less auspicious time. On Wednesday, I'd had half a dozen - wait for it, and promise not to laugh?- Senile Warts (!) on my face, frozen into submission by the dear old Doc. This initially causes a red, blotchy spot which slowly turns black before going the way of all things. Did I want such horror to be spread for all to see? Nah!

I opted for an alternative one. My desk, on a good (bad?) day. Never having been the kind of person to do one thing at a time as opposed to umpty nine, in a very short while I can achieve a collection like the one shown, but I think you need to have it explained... in a messy sort of way, as befits the picture.

You have to think of it as the 'Strata Of A Day'. Underneath the pile, ergo where things began, are sundry packs of photographs, scanned and ready to roll on the computer. Rather than put them back in the cupboard, I'd obviously got sidetracked by the pressing need of a spot of sewing. This added a Chinese silk pincushion, and three large perns of thread to the equation.

My tiny, silver mobile 'phone perches on top of the snaps - probably after fielding a text from one of the kids, and the lime green, retractable rule has just measured a packet ready for posting. We have strict postal guidelines these days. I admire the way the green of it compliments the thread nearby, and the box of antiseptic jell over on the right, rubbing shoulders with the sellotape and parcel tape that had adorned my postal item, and weighing down a few scraps of paper and back-of-envelope shopping notes that it's resting upon...See how it all begins to make sense? Well, my kind of sense, anyway.

On the left of the photo, a sheaf of papers - receipts, letters, et cetera - are propped between a large turquoise green sellotape dispenser (out of sight) and a plastic box in which I secrete small but useful items like Tippex, pencil leads, erasers, pens. Although most of those have migrated to the top of the box, the inside of the cotton reel, or the pen pot in front of the wooden storage cabinet. This last provides a plinth for the clock, and Elmer the Elephant, who peers down at my home made, jolly Piglet, who stands amongst the knitting needles which gave him birth...Are you still with me?

The white, egg shaped mound in the foreground is a wonderful gizmo which holds paper upright when I want to type from a sheet of writing, but also serves to stem the avalanche of desk mess from sliding into my lap. The black and yellow torch beside it has just been given it's dinner of two new batteries, while the remaining two, still in evidence, stand looking on. A calculator in its black sleeve sits on the lid of the box, on top of a pack of pens, and leads the eye to the black of the computer screen. Oh, and don't miss out on the wee green frog resting on the torch. He must have hopped from the plant pot in which he is normally at home. Some things even I can't explain away.

But I can tell you why I took the photo in the first place. On screen you can see the littlies desk in New Zealand. My niece, their Mum, had thought to blog ' before and after' pictures of it. I thought she deserved to see what a messy desk really looked like. I hope it doesn't run in the family. I, of course, am almost in the picture - I'm behind the white flash on the screen! So this is as close to a self portrait as I could manage, David. Thank you again for asking me to lunch...

N.B. If you're looking for the photo (like Jay!), you'll need to go to Authorblog's Sunday Roast!

http://david-mcmahon.blogspot.com/2009/05/sunday-roast_17.html

19 comments:

  1. Hi there. I read your Sunday Roast interview with David and just had to pop by. :)

    I scrolled down and read some of your poems - I likey, so I'll back if that's OK?

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  2. Hi Jinsky. Well done( no pun intended )on the Sunday roast. And no wories about the desk top. Mine's just as bad. I call it "organised chaos". You have great wit about you. Fantastic limericks and verse!

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  3. It all sounds so fascinating - but I can't see a photo! Is it just me?

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  4. hi there just dropping by here
    happy weekend to you and have a great day ahead
    yup sounds fascinating

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  5. Congrats on being Roasted my friend, really enjoyed reading it.

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  6. loved your interview a n d the photo!

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  7. Fabulous interview!!! You are a celebrity blogger!!! This post is great fun...You made me laugh! Congrats on the roast!!!! ~Janine XO

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  8. You are just priceless. I cannot express in words how much I enjoy reading your blog (and I'm, allegedly at least, a writer :-)). Don't ever change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  9. Well I did see your desk which is remarkably well organized.
    I also learned a bit about you.

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  10. I love his Sunday Roasts, even though I'm a vegetarian...:)
    xx

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  11. .... and just in case you have no idea where to find Authorblog's Sunday Roast, its right here.....

    http://david-mcmahon.blogspot.com/2009/05/sunday-roast_17.html

    Nice one Ma! xxx

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  12. Thank you Son! Ever the IT overseer! xxx

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  13. As I've said, I loved the interview but this post was so funny. The description of your desk parafanalia is brilliant. I look at mine and think, now what could I put? It is just as chaotic but wouldn't be as funny!

    Jinksy's Junksy

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  14. And a fine post it was. I love the photo. It's real :)

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  15. Wow! I'm off over there now, sweetheart! And senile warts - Now there's something to look forward to! Can't you just let them wander off somewhere - To a library, and then they'll forget their way back home??! x

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  16. Jinksy, I could see the little critters peeping out - Fabulous! And from such chaos (never ask to see my *ahem* Bohemian study, and I'm not even crafty, so can't claim that for an excuse!), comes such clear thought, wisdom, pithy wit and an orchard filled with delights... Truly! x

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  17. Hey, Jinksy, I saw your roast, although I think he handled you with kids gloves. You did brilliantly. I laughed to see your desk though. There's a whole lot going on there but then why would I have thought differently?

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  18. Oh! Well done, Jinksy! Congratulations on being chosen for David's Sunday Roast! I enjoyed reading your responses to the interview questions. Methinks, however, you are too modest.

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  19. I enjoyed reading your 'roasting'. Now I don't feel so bad about a bit of mess lying around.
    Where in New Zealand does your neice live have you ever been here to visit her?

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