Thursday, 11 June 2009

Contrasts

Light/dark, fast/slow, thick/thin, up/down, high/low, happy/sad; wherever you look, contrasts are part of life. I found out this morning, after getting ' normal ' results to all the blood tests No.1 Son has just undergone, his doctor has come to the conclusion that he is depressed.

I know in Blogland many people could hold their hands up to be counted among this band of less than happy campers, so I'm sure they will sympathise with him, too. Anyone who feels like joining with me in sending him some uplifting, healing energies, will be greatly appreciated, for I'm sure these have a power all their own.

Any hints or tips as to what a Mum can do in these circumstances, where 'popping in' to see him is not an option, I'd love to hear, especially from anyone with first hand experience. He has always been such a stalwart for others when they've been going through rough patches, that he deserves to have someone fight in his corner for a change!

Any gentlemen reading this post, may wish to retire at this point, before I make them blush.

In the good old tradition of buses (and problematical things!) never coming singly, I've come under the watchful eye of the medical world, too. Although I've pointed out to many health care bods on more than one occasion, that for me 50= menopause was a joke, a non-event. It never happened. Now they are sitting up and taking notice. I've been for blood tests and pelvic scan, and am booked in to see the doc next Monday at the wonderful time of 7.45am for results. As if this wasn't enough, yesterday comes the routine NHS letter about a follow up to the colonoscopy I had last July, when they removed a tiny polyp. Looks like everybody wants a piece of me at the same time.

I hope you will understand why I opted to write a bit of 'life in the raw' today, instead of resorting to ostrich mode, sticking head in sand and composing another laughable episode of poetic diarrhoea. Not that pelvic examinations aren't laughable, eh, ladies?!

21 comments:

  1. I don't blame you a bit...you'll both be in my thoughts and prayers today since I don't have any wisdom on these matters to impart...only sympathy!!! My heart is with you! ~Janine XO

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  2. oh, depressions nasty! i don't have any wise ideas, but knowing how to self-comfort, surely helps.

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  3. I certainly send my good wishes to your son, depression isn't taken seriously enough and is often brushed under the carpet. I don't think there is much you can do except be there for him when and as he needs you. He will need you at some stage.

    CJ xx

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  4. There is a name for what you refer to as contrasts and that word is antonyms.

    Had you asked, I would have answered that I am a gentleman but the truth must lie elsewhere because I continued reading when you suggested any gentlemen may wish to retire, and, truth be told, I didn't blush. But now I don't know whether to consider you a Medical Marvel or a Medical Oddity, or whether those are antonyms or synonyms.

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  5. Sorry about your boy. Statistically, young men are more prone to suicidal thoughts from age 16 to 30, than any other age group. It seems ironic, at a time when they act so boldly, that they are actually suffering a lack of confidence. He is in good hands, and will get the proper care. Let him know that everyone goes through these bouts, sooner or later.

    Now, I do want to thank you for sending people my way with your dropping my name around. I wasn't trying to start anything, honest.

    As for your medical tests, they are all good at our age; we probably did not treat ourselves the way luxury cars are treated-refreshed and parts replaced after a certain mileage and before there is any sign of stress-.

    We get a full service only when we need it. Let them refresh you; the results will amaze you.

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  6. Well Jinksy, I tend to laugh through the darker days... but it's tough to make a joke about a colonoscopy.. ok, it's easy to make a joke about a colonoscopy, but tough to make one about depression. So instead, I'll just send some sunshine your way and tell you everything is going to work out fine. Don't stick your head in the sand: It gets stuck in your ears and you'll NEVER get it out!

    xx

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  7. Jewels - I'm glad you recognise the potential for laughing about a colonoscopy! I can mostly laugh at anything about myself, being an 'odd marvel' as RWP suggests. And Lakeviewer, hopefully 39 is well beyond the 16-30 window.

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  8. Poor dear Jinksy - going through a bad patch at the moment - so commiserations.
    Re depression and your son - I do wish they would not call it depression as it does prompt some people to imagine one can snap out of it at the drop of a hat. Depression is a serious medical condition and needs care and understanding. All I can recommend Jinksy is that you be there for him - at any hour, day or night, whenever he needs you. Hope all your horrible tests turn out to be fine. Best wishes to you - and to your son.

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  9. It does not matter what age your son is, you will always be his mother. You cannot really do any more than be there for him. As for your delicate little problems, getting old is no fun.

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  10. Now this may seem strange, but I have found, having a pelvic examine by a female is much easier then having a male doctor do the examine. Perhaps it's because another female knows more about the female body.

    As for your son, why is it, if a doctor doesn't find anything physically wrong the first time, they assume a person is depressed. Sometimes some of the medicines they put a person on, in my opinion, makes the patient feel worse then not taking it. Has the son ever had any depression problems before? Is he going through a midlife crisis of any kind? Or is everything in general just catching up. I must admit, thank goodness, when I get a little gloomy, it usually doesn't last more then a couple of days. But while it's here I hate the feeling. Perhaps the son just needs a nice vacation away from everything for a few days.

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  11. wish I had some wise words- I can say that your in my thoughts.....

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  12. Jinksy....Hi. It's Jackie. (Gentleman, be forewarned...this is 'chick' stuff...) This will be my first (and probably too long of a)post to you. Thank you for visiting my site. I feel I have the NICEST friends through my blog. I have a grown daughter and a grown son; I understand the "Mom" feelings...from the bottom of my heart I do. And..I have had all the tests you are going through. No comfort in any of this so far, I know...but..read on, please. My husband (of 37 years this August)had his first colonoscopy two years ago. Large polyps were found (larger than the regularly found small polyps that a lot of people have.) I can't tell you the anxiety waiting on the results of those tests to come back. They came back fine. Thank you to God for answered prayers. God is with us through all things.
    Small polyps are common in a lot of people. I know again...not much comfort...but do know that they are common and thanks to the test are removed and all is fine. I'm glad that you are getting colonoscopies....and I encourage all who read this that are over 40 to get one...please.
    I have a prayer diary. I am putting your No. 1 Son in it. Who is greater to handle any of this better than The Great Physician Himself? Noone. As a Mom, you can be there for him...and from reading your post, I know you are. Be there by phone or by card or letter. I don't know how far away from you he is. But, I can tell you that knowing that you are there for him....through the dark days and through the days with those glimmers of light (and those will comeand the glimmers will get brighter and last longer)....being there for him and praying for him are the most important things you can do for him. He will know it...and feel it. I will be a prayer warrior for him....I promise. Thank you for 'listening'....and if you choose to delete this comment after you read it, I understand. As one Mother to another....and one who knows depression (because I do)...I wanted to tell you that I know it's hard to see and feel someone who has been the 'rock' going through these times of depression. You are his Mom...You love him...He loves you....and knowing both of those things helps more than anyone can imagine. I'm praying for you, too.

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  13. I don't know clinical depression but I can't imagine that constant support and not skirting the issue, but asking head on wouldn't be a good idea. He's got to know of your love though, I'm sure.

    And as to you, oh woman of never-ending youth, chin up, and feet up too, right in those stirups! And may you be deemed a healthy wonder of woman!

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  14. I'm keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers, Jinksy.

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  15. Oh how I wish I had pearls of wisdom to share with you but unfortunately I don't. Love him through his depression (as I know you will) and good luck with your test. I've got the same test in Sept. I don't mind the test, I dislike the preparation....Good Luck my friend, you and your son are in my thoughts and prayers......:-) Hugs

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  16. I think undemanding contact is the way to go with your son. Write to him and send him small gifts - a bag of sweets, a magnet for his fridge, an air-freshener for his car, if he uses them. Steer clear of things that might make him feel overloaded or as if he has to respond in some way, like a phone card or book of stamps - or anything too expensive that he might feel he has to thank you specifically for.

    I would also make it clear, each time, that he doesn't have to thank you or answer at all if he doesn't feel like it. The idea is to keep in touch with a reminder of your unconditional love, without pressuring him in any way.

    That's my suggestion from someone who's been clinically depressed, and who has supported a son through tough times.

    As for your own medical trials - wow! I thought reaching 55 without the menopause showing up was bad! Good luck with your tests. It's good that you're getting checked out. Hopefully nothing much is actually wrong. ;)

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  17. jinksy, can u send me an email with his name, first name is fine :) his age, i can do something from all the way over here and am more than happy to. will tell u in email the details, it will take a few days to fit him in, but no more than a working week and I will balance him.
    Take care of yourself my friend, all will be fine with you of that i am positive...I have my sources :)
    xxsm

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  18. Is he clinically depressed or feeling down (just an expression -- not meant to trivialize). I believe that the former has to do with brain chemicals and can be treated. Well, I'm sure the latter is treatable too but in a different way. There is lots of literature on the subject. I went through a time a feeling down but through reading came to the conclusion that for me, happiness is a choice. It sounds overly simple, but it worked for me.

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  19. Sending my best healing thoughts to you and your son.

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  20. I'm so sorry, why have I missed this post? It never popped up at my screen.

    Hmm, nothing to laugh about. Depression isn't funny and your doctor's appointments aren't very hilarious either ;-) Hope everything will turn out OK for you.
    Your son, is it a 'chemical depression', you know, the one where that special stuff, which name I can't come up with now, is missing from the brain, or is it a 'phychological depression'? The last one needs time, the first needs medicine. I have suffered from the time-needed-one many years ago. Writing down what bothered me helped. Took about 6 months for me to return to my (ab)normal self. Oh, and I went to a psychologist who said: 'uhuh' and 'how does that make you feel'. That helped too.

    I hope your son will feel much better soon. He can always start blogging. I've noticed lots of bi-polar and depressed people are blogging. I'm even following one or two of them. They rock!

    A very big and warm hug for both you and your son!

    Carolina

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  21. If the doc has him on meds: The hardest part for me is remembering to take my meds. Suggest he keep them next to his bed and take them right before retiring, or first thing in the AM, whichever doctor instructs. For antidepressants to be effective, they must be taken regularly. He'll probably hate it but you could ask him if he's remembering to take his meds regularly and tell him how important it is.

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