Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Still On The 'Phone?

How many times has a disgruntled voice in the background muttered that phrase into your ear, or mimed it, accompanied by great contortions of the old physiognomy? It's easy to imagine a parent trying to stop young offspring from upping the 'phone bill by their youthful shenanigans, but from personal experience, I can assure you it's just as valid in the world of grown-ups. My Mum used to be a great one for long winded conversations, and hubby a great one for deciding when he thought it had gone on long enough! Know what I mean?

Telephones have such differing effects on people. I know a person who refuses to have one in their home. They can''t face the thought of having to speak to 'strangers'. On the other side of the coin, you have somebody like my daughter, whose mobile is rather like an extra limb, bless her talkative little tongue!

Now, in this technological age where mobile 'phones are two-a-penny (to find, may I hastily add here - certainly not to buy!) it's impossible to walk down a High Street without coming across hoards of people apparently talking to themselves. They stride along, one hand clamping small device to ear, or, even more eerily (pardon the pun) they look as though they've stepped straight out of a science fiction story because of the hands-free headset they're wearing.

Quite apart from physical equipment that no longer ties one to a landline, there is the advent of the language murdering texting. 'C U 2nite?' may get a message across, but I ask you...would it fire you with enthusiasm? Bring to mind an eloquent suitor? Hardly! Don't get me wrong, sending a text is fine, and I use them myself, but I choose to at least attempt to use the English language whilst doing so. Can't you just tell I'm a miserable old git?! Before I get embroiled in further rantings, especially on the subject of automated, telephone reply options, I think I will go while the going is good, and simply leave you with a 'phone inspired ditty called:-

Love Match?

We play with out thoughts
like the players at Wimbledon,
bouncing them from mind to mind
across the net of distance between us.
I sometimes get the feeling
you are waiting to demolish me
with an ace to end all aces.
Game, set and match
via the telephone.


  1. I often look at people so engrossed in having a conversation on the move,I think to myself, they miss all the sights and sound of the world!
    What next I wonder... video/chat on the move?

    Love Granny

  2. All our technology has changed our lives--and how we relate to others. Sad!

  3. The two girls who were visiting last week sometimes texted each other from the back seat of the car when they were only about a physical foot apart. Myself: I rather dislike phones. Sykping with family is okay though.

  4. That's two posts in a row featuring the telephone....

  5. What a terrific image you create here...Isn't it funny...I have been thinking about writing a bit of humor about phones...and here you go...but you have done it so beautifully, I will forego the field...LOL! ~Janine XO

  6. Ah, I think you know some of my feelings on this matter :-) Never have had a cell, never will. And texting is - mostly - an abominable substitute for real writing. But, you've said it a bit better (and more nicely than I could, if I keep on, so I'll stop now.)

  7. Cute poem.
    I refuse to text. I seldom use my cell phone. My daughter on the other hand uses hers all the time and talks forever.

  8. I invite the demolish,
    as long is it is not short form!

  9. I still have an ancient Nokia phone. It gets laughed at, doesn't take photos (I have a camera for that) and is rarely with me. My son Jason calls it my 'stationery' as opposed to my mobile!! But it is useful in an emergency. I'm sure I'll have one one day! I do text with it too as I don't like using the phone anymore because of my deafness. xx

  10. When I see all these people walking around talking to themselves, I wonder, what did they do before they had the cell phones? When I worked for a short time in our local deli, I would have a customer or two now and then come up while talking on their phone, and stand there, and I would say, may I help you and they would quickly give me one order, I would deliver it and hand it to them and say would you like anything else, and they would hold up a finger as if to say, JUST A MINUTE, well more then once I would have loved to have jumped over the meat case and twisted that darn finger. I thought to myself what on earth is so life threatening that you can't get off the phone while shopping. I hate cell phones to be used so causal. I carry one in the car for emergencies and every once in a while if the phone in the house goes out, I bring the car phone into the house to use if necessary to call the phone company to find out when the main phone will be working again. I think they should outlaw them in cars, unless it's the hands free kind. Too many accidents have happened while someone is trying to punch in a phone number. Perhaps I'm just an old fuddy-duddy.

  11. Oh touche. I hate how I'd be on the trains in London and someone would use their phone onboard:

    "Hi it's me. Yeah just pullin' in to the station. OK seeya."

    Right. Because someone NEEDED to know that....

  12. We can't fight progress. Who wants to go backwards?

  13. I like the tennis metaphor. I don't like talking on the phone at all. It's like work to me.

  14. As you will see in my blogprofile: I hate the telephone. But I don't hate my mobile one. Because I can see who wants to talk to me and then decide wether I'll take the call or not. And I like texting, but using the normal language, as you do. Including all the punctuation marks. Friends of mine text like this without any dots or commas which makes reading their texts almost impossible and sometimes even causes all sorts of problems in understanding what they mean to say. Still, always good for a laugh ;-)


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