Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Blondes Don't Have Exclusive Rights To Dizzy


The Diz


At times I could be dizzy,
though not a blonde since youth,
but the Diz that got me recently
was certainly uncouth.

My head was like a fishbowl
with water sploshing round.
Diz whirly-pooled those fun ideas
which normally abound.

I swallowed lots of different pills,
but Diz managed to hover -
mostly after sleeping
as my head crept from the cover

and I had to stand up vertical
to face the coming day.
Begone, unwelcome vertigo!
I want the Diz to go away!

But worse than feeling sober-drunk,
pills damped creative juices,
and being minus jokey Muse
has left me feeling useless!

So far, I've consulted four doctors.The latest, Spanish by birth, showed me on a computer the kind of complicated manoeuvre he suggested I book a double appointment for next time. (I mentioned the Spanish bit, because, though he has a delightful accent, when he gave the three very long words naming my complaint (!) they didn't register in my consciousness, other than making me think 'How sweet that sounds!')

He wants me to book a double appointment, so that he and A. N. Other (yes, it will take two) can move the examination couch away from the wall to allow me to hang my head off the end, at which time I will have to move it swiftly right to left, before the two of them haul me up sideways to a sitting position. He said it will make me feel awful - as if I didn't know that - but apparently, it's the way to clear the little grainy crystals in the labyrinth that he thinks are the cause of my Diz.

Perhaps this is a good time to put out a plea to Blogpals to write some fitting ditties to help chase the Diz back to wherever it came from? Then maybe I won't have to undergo his torture regime...

32 comments:

  1. Call me stupid if you will
    But there has got to be a pill.

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  2. Bruce-
    Sadly, not one that they have had me swallow
    has cured the Diz in which I wallow...

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  3. Poor Jinksy,

    Alas, I have no remedy for your plight
    that might allow you to stand upright!

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  4. Mayhaps a drink or two, or three
    will be a fitting remedy?

    This will probably make your Diz worse, but perhaps you will enjoy it more!

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  5. Oh, and speaking as a blonde, we don't WANT exclusive rights to being Diz. We're happy to share the reputation with brunettes and the occassional red-head.

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  6. Jewels-
    A drink is no way on the cards,
    for alchohol is strictly barred -
    it would not mix well with the pills,
    and could just make me really ill!

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  7. As you know, there will be no ditties from me, but I am also giving me head a shake right now. It sounds so weird, but I suspect he may be onto something.

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  8. Oh dear, does this really have to rhyme?
    I'm also dizzy sometimes,
    but my excuse is blonde and suffering from Lyme.

    I've seen your doctor's remedy
    performed on a dizzy patient,
    in a medical program on national tv.

    It left the patient, although amazed
    because it seemed to do the trick,
    no longer wobbly and dazed.

    Good luck!

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  9. Ah Jinksy, dizzy or not, you are a true gem. I think the dizziness has actually called up a slightly different yet equally potent Muse. Phrases like "whirly-pooled those fun ideas"! Ha! That's really quite good. I sympathize with your dilemma but, in the meantime, try to go with it so we can enjoy the dizzy writing.

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  10. Oh, poor, dear Jinksy...I'm so sorry...I had vertigo once...it was horrid...I do hope that you will not have to undergo such treatment...My thoughts are with you!

    But whether you have vertigo or not, your poetry is always WONDERFUL!!! Loved this! So wonderfully playful! Hope you feel better soon! Love, Janine XO

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  11. Hail to thee, blithe spirit!
    Bird thou never wert --
    And so, rather than flit about,
    You should remain inert.

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  12. Ha, well you know I'll have nothing worthy in verse to contribute. I'll offer prayer instead.

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  13. Thank goodness someone says it clearly about blonds. Ha.
    The only time I had trouble with dizziness was a few years ago and hubby helped me discover it was caused from aspartame. When I stopped using and or eating and drinking things with aspartame it took a few weeks but I haven't had the dizziness again. I hope you don't have to undergo any more uncomfortable tests or procedures. I really feel sympathy for you.

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  14. Not a ditty, though one may be in the pipeline....

    I too have suffered from vertigo and I have found that shaking the head violently from side to side 'clears the crystals' or 'energises the sort of hairs deep in the ear' (not the external ones if you're male, which you're not). It feels drastic for a few moments, but it certainly worked for me.

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  15. P.S.
    If you wake and find you’re dizzy
    Don’t just suffer, girl! Get busy!
    Shake that head from side to side
    Rattle all those hairs inside!
    Make them stand alert, refreshed,
    No longer inert, in ‘clog’ enmeshed!
    All right! I know it will feel drastic!
    But persevere! You’ll feel fantastic!

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  16. T'would seem easier to take refuge
    Inside a giant centrifuge
    Than knocking fast from right to left
    Then being sat up by pure swift heft!
    Whatever you do to straddle your deck,
    I hope you don't besprain your neck!

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  17. Gosh jinsky that treatment seems a bit archaic. Can he not give you heated drops or something that could melt them.....I have to say I love your attitude and poems, be well my friend........:-) Hugs

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  18. I sure hope it helps and that the process doesn't make you feel too poorly. Hugs to you, my friend.

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  19. Hi Jinksy,

    My Dad had a bad dizzy spell many months ago. At E.R. they told him it was something to do with the crystals. Then they shifted him violent to move the crystals around or something. Then he felt much better. Have you had a similar maneuver done? I hope the doctors are being helpful and sympathetic!

    I hope you start feeling better really soon. I imagine the disorientation and wobbliness of being so dizzy can be frightening and frustrating.

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  20. jinksy, it's so hard to talk
    with you, now face to face.
    you're simply wobbling about
    balance gone, without a trace!

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  21. poor Jinksy, still in a dizz?
    I can see a bunch of doctors all standing round you, shaking their heads, thereby dislodging their own crystals, wondering what can be wrong with this woman. Have you pointed out to them that their lack of expertise is wreaking havoc with your rhyming whizz?

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  22. Not very good at prose or verse
    My blatherings will make it worse.....

    I have this sensation occasionally but not constantly. It currently is attributed to blood pressure med. apparently while I sleep B.P goes too low.

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  23. Why do you need them to help you shake your head?
    Can't you just hang over the edge of your own bed?

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  24. Hope this clears up soon. It's an awful feeling.

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  25. Oh Jinksy Jinksy Jinksy, I'm sorry for your Diz
    that shakes you up and makes you giddy and puts you in a Tiz,
    for if I could clear this nasty Diz, so that your never in a Wiz,
    my dear I'd wave my magic wand,
    and then along with my dizzy blonde,
    it would be far away and long gone,
    for someone just as kind as you,
    should never be giddy too!

    Wishing you well really soon x

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  26. I loved that - and particularly so the idea of a jokey muse. I must try to get myself one of those! Well done.

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  27. That sounds awful ! Try not to throw up on his shoes when he's finished !
    Hope it helps and you feel better very soon .

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  28. I hope the treatment will work. I’m going back to your earlier posts as I don’t want to miss any. The post with pictures was outstanding – you have a gift to write such great accompaniment to the pictures. All of your little poems and rhymes are great – it is a wonder to me how you can come up with so many delightful poems, as I said it is truly a gift. Best wishes to you, and thanks for coming to my blog.

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  29. Oh Jinksy, now I see what you mean. This is a thoroughly unpleasant thing to be experiencing - I have had it. Long ago, before this approach was used, and I had to just wait for it to pass. The worst part was people thinking I was drunk!!!
    (I realize there are worse things than BEING drunk, but one hates to have such assumptions made erroneously)
    I have all my digits crossed that this procedure/treatment will work for you. Poor you!

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  30. Sorry I missed this one, Jinksy!
    Hope you are OK now.
    Its bad enough if you are dizzy because of drink or a scary ride...... but to be that way for no reason is NOT funny!
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

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  31. l have had this Jinksy..l may be standing and the nis undulating, l get out of the car and it appears to be rolling away from me....l too hav ehad the couch test!! LOL

    l was put on bitahsitimine,l think it was...a virus which gives vertigo and tinitus like symptoms...they thought..it passed...

    hope your does too...

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