Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Good For A Laugh

Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo, that is. Not so much in itself, but in its treatment. At least, when said treatment is carried out by a Spanish Doctor with a hilarious sense of humour.
After finding my notes on the computer, and ascertaining my Diz was still in place, he eyed up the couch in the consulting room, then suggested we wander round to the other side of the surgery, where there would be a proper hospital couch, on wheels, and with rise and fall mechanisms.
We marched in a convoy of two past all the curious patients awaiting their turns, and you could see the puzzled looks on their faces. " Why the route march?"
On the opposite, newer side of the building, the treatment rooms are better equipped, and Doc quickly pushed pedals, pulled levers, and got the trolley-type couch into the middle of the room. An animated computer diagram showed what was expected of me; the Epley manoeuvre.

"This is a series of four movements of the head; after each, the head is held in the same position for 30 seconds or so. Basically, they cause the posterior semicircular canal to rotate in such a way that gravity moves the otoconia fragments out from the posterior canal and into the vestibule, where they then settle, and cause no more symptoms."

So says the leaflet. The practice is a little more nerve wracking. Head to the right - room sways, then steadies. Head to the left - room sways violently, but eventually steadies. Roll over to left side and all hell breaks loose, giddy-wise. I am convinced I will fall off narrow couch onto floor. Doc reassures me by saying "It's all right - I will drop you gently!" Ha Bloody Ha.
I have to roll even further to the left, and fling one arm out towards the floor tiles, as I feel sure that's where I will end up. Meanwhile, Doc continues to assure me his legs will stop me from rolling off, and he clutches my hand in a vice like grip so's I know he's not aiming to drop me just yet...
Then in his beautifully accented English, he says "All we need now is for somebody to walk in the door!" My eyes are shut tight to combat Diz, so I can only imagine his posture, but it must have been strange, to say the least. We both start laughing. He says "It's a bit like a circus act", as he tries to stop me hooking my right foot over the back edge of the couch, as a kind of anchor.
At this point I laugh twice as much, and suggest he calls in a few of those grim faced patients we walked past, and charge them for the show.
When the last count of 30 seconds has run it's course, he hauls me up sideways to a sitting position, and I wait for the world to catch up with me.
Eventually he trusts me to walk back round the room to my chair, and he prints off three sheets of info, and books me in for 7.45 next Tuesday, for our repeat performance. "We will do that in the car park", he jests, "and charge everybody three pounds fifty for a ticket, to add to my retirement fund."
I have yet to see whether the Diz has gone for good. but don't you wish you had a doctor like mine?

24 comments:

  1. Ah, I love those moments with doctors when you just laugh... When an examination becomes a kind of game. It is definitely a funny scenario, especially when you imagine someone walking in and seeing that maneuver!

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  2. I would have paid to be there with my camera.. ;)

    Your doc sounds hilarious. Here's hoping it works.

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  3. He sounds like a great guy. Hope this works for you.

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  4. The doc sounds like a load of fun. You should post video ;)

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  5. jinksy - a doctor with a sense of humour is the best medicine!!! steven

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  6. Well, as we have a shortage of doctors, I wish I had A doctor, I'm not so picky. However, your doctor sounds much more interesting than any I've ever had. I do so love it when professional people can unbend enough to have a personality.

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  7. Hello Jinksy,

    Steve's video idea is definitely the way to go. You could become an NHS instuctional video and get THEM to pay YOU?!

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  8. I tried posting on your last post about this (kept getting the error page) and wanted to recommend accupuncture... boy I hope this works for you (so odd)?? haha

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  9. I still think the solution I sent to you would have worked! It actually sounds so similar to what your Dr did! And much cheaper! Not a barrel of laughs though!

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  10. I cannot wait to see this post converted to verse....

    I've heard of this treatment and glad Doc has a sense of humor.

    I have a gastroenterologist who has a great sense of humor about his procedures. I leave that to your imagination!

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  11. Even under those circumstances your humor blares its welcome brand of funniness. I am so sorry you are having to endure these treatments, but I so admire your spirit.

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  12. I do, yes, but basically, I'm just glad the world caught up with you - eveentually.

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  13. Just caught up with what's going on in your life - no fun at all! All the excitement of ride at the fair and none of the fun.
    My daughter and my sister have each had the treatment you described and it worked for them - I hope it eventually gives you relief. In the meantime, you've got that interesting doctor........

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  14. That condition can be quite unsettling. And there are many treatments for it so I'm sure you will soon be without the DIZ. I hope he shares his retirement with you...after all, you are the star of the show.

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  15. I saw this technique being done on TV once and it looked gruesome but seemed to do the trick.
    Hope it has in your case!

    Liked your little ditty that you left in my comments about my blue toilet seat :-)
    Maggie

    Nuts in May

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  16. A. Hilarious account!
    B. I'm glad you are feeling better.
    C. I never want to read or hear the phrase "posterior semicircular canal" ever again.

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  17. So, now that you've been treated you see the world going the other way? Ah ah!

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  18. I might need a doctor after reading about the head movements...I don't feel my best today and it made me dizzy just thinking about it.
    I'm envious of your sweet doctor though!
    ♥...Wanda

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  19. I playing catch up with my blog reading and have just learned that you have the Dizzes! So sorry, m'dear! What a treat, though, to have a physician with a sense of humor; I've had only a couple in my years, and it made being sick almost tolerable. I hope your Tuesday next appoinment in the car park will clear up your troubles. Make him split the 3 pounds fifty with you!!!

    Take care, m'dear! Don't be stumbling around; we don't want you getting hurt.

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  20. I'm still laughing, you have a great doctor. One who cures you and makes you laugh at the same time....love it......:-) Hugs

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  21. I get seasick very easily, and just reading this made me a little queasy! Sure hope it helps your dizziness! Your doctor sounds nice!

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  22. I love a doctor with a sense of humor. You sound as though you have one of the best.

    I'd suggest videotaping the next treatment so we can see it :-)

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  23. He sounds absolutely hilarious!!! I think a person could put up with a whole lot to be treated by such a physician! Hope this works!! Want you to feel better soon! Love, Janine XO

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  24. Just checked in to see how you got on. What fun your Doctor seems. Do hope he can sort the problem and the Diz goes for good.
    All very best wishes Jinksy.

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