Okay, you asked for it!

People, you amaze me! There's Bruce, Lakeviewer and Slamdunk asking for more, and Nancy wanting a prequel, as I believe it's called, not to mention all the other's concerned about Audrey! I shall now try to satisfy all comers with a retrospective look at the previous couple of days, which I found in no way horrendous - Nancy take note!

The sheet of instructions that arrived through my letterbox , with two sachets of Picolax, said 'a light residue diet' was required the day before the procedure. This was it's list:-

MEAT: lean meats, poultry, bacon, offal
FISH: frozen, fresh, tinned in brine
CHEESE: any type
EGGS: boiled, poached, scrambled
MILK: half pint daily
FATS: 1/2oz daily
BREAD: white only, max 4 slices per day
CHAPATTI: white flour max 4 per day
SWEETS/SUGARS: boiled sweets, mints, jellies, brown/white honey, syrup, jam
BEVERAGES: tea, coffee, lucozade, fizzy drinks, Oxo, marmite, water, clear stocks
SEASONING: salt, vinegar, ground pepper
CARBOHYDRATES: white pasta, white rice

Bearing in mind I'm being 'watched' for hovering type 2 diabetes, this was the sheet given to type 1 diabetic patients, together with instructions to stop insulin/tablets the day before, or if just tablets, then stop the morning of the procedure.

For me personally, this was potentially a bit heavy on the carbohydrates and sugars, and a whole day with no fruit or veg was a penance, definitely. Imagine, lusting after a plateful of cabbage? I kept having visions of a tender, pale green mountain of it sitting alongside my lonely, golden brown chicken thighs...I put it down to the colour green, for beans, peas, sprouts, courgettes would all have been just as welcome, and the Golden Delicious apples, and juicy green grapes taunted me every time I opened the fridge door to fetch my milk or butter.

Be that as it may, Tuesday morning arrived, and at 7am there was a foaming glass of water+Picolax to start the day with a bang, - in theory. My natural body rhythm had already done its part to ensure a clear bowel, so drinking this witch's brew only added the final touches, as you might say, and its fellow dose at 9pm ensured an inside as empty as a new vacuum cleaner. In no way would I describe this as horrendous, Nancy, but maybe it depends on how much food was lurking inside before the Picolax got to work?

My Blog has plumbed the lowest depths possible, folks, wouldn't you agree? You gotta laugh!What is more universal than toilet humour, or more taboo and hush hush?! I hereby caste aside all pre-conceived ideas of what jinksy may blog about next. I believe in keeping up the suspense - why else would you keep coming back to see me?!


P.S. Those of you who read carefully to the end of yesterday's post, will know Audrey was perfectly fine. Remember, she was just a passing acquaintance in a waiting room - and I only knew her name was Audrey, because that's what the Nurse called out when it was her turn to be seen! Sherlock Holmes isn't the only one with a sleuthing bug...