Thursday, 4 March 2010

Okay, you asked for it!

People, you amaze me! There's Bruce, Lakeviewer and Slamdunk asking for more, and Nancy wanting a prequel, as I believe it's called, not to mention all the other's concerned about Audrey! I shall now try to satisfy all comers with a retrospective look at the previous couple of days, which I found in no way horrendous - Nancy take note!

The sheet of instructions that arrived through my letterbox , with two sachets of Picolax, said 'a light residue diet' was required the day before the procedure. This was it's list:-

MEAT: lean meats, poultry, bacon, offal
FISH: frozen, fresh, tinned in brine
CHEESE: any type
EGGS: boiled, poached, scrambled
MILK: half pint daily
FATS: 1/2oz daily
BREAD: white only, max 4 slices per day
CHAPATTI: white flour max 4 per day
SWEETS/SUGARS: boiled sweets, mints, jellies, brown/white honey, syrup, jam
BEVERAGES: tea, coffee, lucozade, fizzy drinks, Oxo, marmite, water, clear stocks
SEASONING: salt, vinegar, ground pepper
CARBOHYDRATES: white pasta, white rice

Bearing in mind I'm being 'watched' for hovering type 2 diabetes, this was the sheet given to type 1 diabetic patients, together with instructions to stop insulin/tablets the day before, or if just tablets, then stop the morning of the procedure.

For me personally, this was potentially a bit heavy on the carbohydrates and sugars, and a whole day with no fruit or veg was a penance, definitely. Imagine, lusting after a plateful of cabbage? I kept having visions of a tender, pale green mountain of it sitting alongside my lonely, golden brown chicken thighs...I put it down to the colour green, for beans, peas, sprouts, courgettes would all have been just as welcome, and the Golden Delicious apples, and juicy green grapes taunted me every time I opened the fridge door to fetch my milk or butter.

Be that as it may, Tuesday morning arrived, and at 7am there was a foaming glass of water+Picolax to start the day with a bang, - in theory. My natural body rhythm had already done its part to ensure a clear bowel, so drinking this witch's brew only added the final touches, as you might say, and its fellow dose at 9pm ensured an inside as empty as a new vacuum cleaner. In no way would I describe this as horrendous, Nancy, but maybe it depends on how much food was lurking inside before the Picolax got to work?

My Blog has plumbed the lowest depths possible, folks, wouldn't you agree? You gotta laugh!What is more universal than toilet humour, or more taboo and hush hush?! I hereby caste aside all pre-conceived ideas of what jinksy may blog about next. I believe in keeping up the suspense - why else would you keep coming back to see me?!


P.S. Those of you who read carefully to the end of yesterday's post, will know Audrey was perfectly fine. Remember, she was just a passing acquaintance in a waiting room - and I only knew her name was Audrey, because that's what the Nurse called out when it was her turn to be seen! Sherlock Holmes isn't the only one with a sleuthing bug...

23 comments:

  1. I did, did I? Something amiss?

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  2. Sorry, Subby - my mouse was too eager to click, and all I posted first time round was the title...

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  3. You should see Mum's list of "phosphate" based foods she's not "supposed" to eat. And she only wishes she could take an insulin tablet, as opposed to the needles, wot? Looking at youe list here, the bread should be in with the pasta. Mum's usually required to fast ere some visits; just water of a spot of tea...!

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  4. Wow, that is a list. As for the toilet- we all have to use one :).

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  5. About all the interest in Audrey: It's your fault for turning her into a star.

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  6. Penny, you gotta know that toilet humour is just my kinda thing. HOpe all turns out alright...see...and even here I laugh. HA! I do wish you good health though.
    xo
    erin

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  7. OH.
    MY.
    G...no wait...

    coffee, please....

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  8. Hello Jinksy,

    Your Picolax sounds most genteel, whereas I'm aware of medications of quite a different order!

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  9. well, you certainly had it easier. now for hubby... scheduled for friday, 8am. from wednesday, noon, only clear liquids, clear soup and jelly. from thursday, only clear liquids, NO food, and in the evening 4 litres of icky stuff to be consumed in 4 hours. and those 4 hours were spent mostly in the bathroom... morning came, nothing to eat or drink, and the procedure, well, aren't the drugs great. memory loss rules!

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  10. That list is pretty interesting! Boiled sweets? I am a bit flabbergasted about that item. White pasta and rice?

    Hope everything turned out fine (no pun intended!).

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  11. Thanks for that. I've never had such a procedure. I'm grateful for the de-mystification!

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  12. Now that is a list.

    I appreciate you taking requests and allow your a few viewers to sink your blog's overall readership. What are friends, online even, for?

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  13. Yes, your Picolax is much more gentle than the "Go Litely" we have to endure over here.
    In the end, it's all the same, though, right?
    Love your blog...

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  14. I think we should all go through the set up business once a year to clean out our systems!
    Then no can say we are full of it.

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  15. I like reading toilet humour but feel a little inhibited writing about it. Take care.

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  16. We are hooked. No, tethered. No, suctioned. No. We just crawled in from under the carpet, with the dust bunnies and are taking notes. That's how it's done!

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  17. We all relieve ourselves, so why not release the taboo?!

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  18. Speaking of 'full of it': this is a cause for many health problems. Colon Hydrotherapy is the easier way to go and be totally cleansed - an amazing procedure.

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  19. I wasn't able to comment on the first post about your procedure, due to, well never mind. I was wondering about the prep. but this post has answered that question. I have been there and done that. Loved your take on the whole thing.

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  20. Bathroom humor and fart jokes are highly underrated in my book. There's nothing funnier than ourselves.

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  21. I am only allowed broth and jello for the 48 hours prior to the procedure....it doesn't bother me at all, I don't like the horrible drink I have to take but the tablets are okay, actually I really like that empty feeling for a short time....I always over eat after........:-) Hugs

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