Friday, 30 January 2009

One Last Picture

At the end of yesterday's post, I realised what I'd have to add today - something I wrote all those years ago, sitting on deck, soaking up the atmosphere. I called it

Thames Twilight

The setting sun casts its pink gold aura
over sky and river.
Misty purple shadows deepen.
Unseen, small nocturnal animals
begin to rustle through dry undergrowth
along the riverbank.

After the heat of day, evening cool
encourages fish to feed.Their mouth's
plop surface bubbles in mistake for flies
and create widening, concentric circles
which lazily overlap
on the mirror-silvered water.

In the air above, mosquitoes and midges
dance erratically in chaotic cloud formation,
swarms of small grey ghosts in the twilight.
Birds call and roost.
A great calm descends upon the scene
and still the soul of one who watches.

Since I wrote these words, I've tried many times to rewrite the whole thing in a recognised poetic form, but always I come back to the original picture and it won't let me alter anything. I guess it has to be another one of those 'it just is' creations, which will never please a 'proper' poet. But at least, it may allow you to get the picture?

15 comments:

  1. I don't care about 'proper' poetry, well I do, but what I mean is I don't care if poetry is proper or not. I love the written word, poetry, prose and spoken word, any form, any shape....as long as it makes me feel something then I like it.
    I know what I like.
    and I like what you write.
    Give my love to your bro LOL!!!
    xxsm

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well....for a moment I was on that riverbank. Goal achieved me thinks! Proper or not ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. WOW! what a wonderful blog! And what fun adventures you've had on your boat! I've just thoroughly enjoyed myself reading about your excitement! Love the prose above! It's beautiful! Jenni

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think the only poetic form that matters is the one that says to you "yes" when you've read through what flowed out of your pen.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Every once in a while during some of my most powerful moment words will wash over me and a poem will flow out. I primarily write devotionals or anecdotal short pieces, but I am amazed at how sometimes situations, seeing something powerful in God's creation will just beg to be placed down on paper in a verse or stanza. It is amazing. I think poetry is a lost art and I really enjoyed your.
    Blessings
    Robin

    I found your blog from a comment you made on Terri's

    Have a great day!

    ReplyDelete
  6. One of the thing I've always envied about England is how a place could be so densely populated for so long and still retain an abundance of nature and peace for its people to enjoy. A beautiful scene vividly depicted.

    ReplyDelete
  7. It's a fine poem, quite contemporary.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The picture vignette you created with your words is more vivid than lots of photos I've seen. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. It was written as the spirit moved you - and that is why you can't alter it - it is from the heart and better for it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thanks for sharing your beautiful word-painting, Jinksy. I have mentally framed it for display.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh, to hell with "proper poetry". And, for that matter, the folks who insist upon it. Words, and the forms we use them in, are playthings. So, play! Those who wish to make work out of play are the same types who look for war in every peace.

    ReplyDelete
  12. It definitly allows me to get the picture!! Wonderful! I think sometimes you just need to write how it works best and this definitly works,. You are amazing with your word choice:))

    ReplyDelete
  13. I also love that word, "vignette." And I loved this post :)

    ReplyDelete

Curiosity Cats can leave a whisker here...but not before noting, please, that I choose to have an award free, tag free, meme free blog. But by all means, talk to me by email - I love to 'chat'...