In Mum and Dad's flat was a bathroom,
the like of which you've never seen.
A rickety gas boiler's function
heated the water - to steam!
But fixed to the cold water faucet,
or rather, the overflow pipe,
was connect an aerial wire,
about which I intend to gripe.
It must have earthed something electric,
for one day, as I floated in foam,
my big toe got stuck, by a fluke, in the tap
and a small 'lectric shock made me groan!
It must have been nothing but static,
for a bigger charge could have been bad-
might have polished me off altogether,
instead of just making me mad!
A rickety gas boiler's function
heated the water - to steam!
But fixed to the cold water faucet,
or rather, the overflow pipe,
was connect an aerial wire,
about which I intend to gripe.
It must have earthed something electric,
for one day, as I floated in foam,
my big toe got stuck, by a fluke, in the tap
and a small 'lectric shock made me groan!
It must have been nothing but static,
for a bigger charge could have been bad-
might have polished me off altogether,
instead of just making me mad!
This piece of nonsense was inspired by Magpie Tales scary photo of part drowned feet, and the link will lead you to more toe tapping exploits, I'm sure...
Just like Monroe in The Seven Year Itch!
ReplyDeletelol jinksy. Very good. It reminded me of Pam Ayres. (Oh God, that shows my age!)
ReplyDeleteYou can get yourself into a very embarrassing situation, sticking your toe up the tap - so I've been told!
ReplyDeleteThis belongs in the horror genre ;-)
ReplyDeleteThank goodness!! Finally a photo that made all of us scratch our heads, then take to the more humorous route!
ReplyDeleteFunny, frightening and so well written!
ReplyDeleteVery funny to read about but I suppose not so nice when it happened!
ReplyDeleteI could imagine a fireman being called at one point!
ReplyDeleteToe tapping... HA! Very funny. Glad it only left you mad. So... tiptoeing around the bath towards the shower after that toe-curling experience I suspect? Did you know that 'toe' is 'the terminal segment of an invertebrate's limb'? I bet you didn't expect it could almost be that terminal?
ReplyDeletex Carolina
jinksy i've been watching a lot of hitchcock recently so forgive me for wondering if perhaps there was a shockingly sinister subplot to the faucet being grounded!!! electrifying writing by the way! steven
ReplyDeleteI've heard of the electric slide, but an electric bath? It's just toe-much. Glad you're only mad.
ReplyDeletemad as a hatter or just plain mad! Great take on the photo!
ReplyDeleteWonderful, I so enjoyed this piece.
ReplyDeleteI think you should be writing screen plays my friend.....:-)Hugs
ReplyDeleteIndeed, it could have! Well done!
ReplyDeleteLovely poem as usual! But the plot-line makes the engineer in me wonder.
ReplyDeleteWater and electricity don't mix well . . how could the waste-pipe and your toe not be part of a lethal electric circuit even whether or not your toe was stuck up the tap? What was the other end of this 'ere aerial wire connected to? Ah . . got it! You're simply SHOCKPROOF! HeHeHe
I'm always scratching my head around rickety-old boilers..my rational thinking stops right there and I can have goof-ups like toe-up-in-the-tap...:D
ReplyDeleteVery well written:)
Do you think the police would buy an accident/
ReplyDeleteWonderfully wacky.
I for one am glad it didn't go too far..perish the thought!!
ReplyDeleteI have so much fun reading your work. It always makes me smile.
ReplyDeleteA fun read, for sure!
ReplyDeleteGreat read...reminds me of the movie..7 year Itch with Marilyn Monroe ...we she got her toe stuck in the bathtub faucet....Great Magpie..bkm
ReplyDeleteyikes...while the toe stuck is funny the little electric can be rather fatal. nice play though...smiles.
ReplyDeletemy magpie
smart tale!
ReplyDeleteWacky, funny, and a bit scary for a moment. Glad it wasn't more than static. I'd have been a little mad too.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you always make me think of Gilbert and Sullivan? (And that's quite a compliment.)
ReplyDelete