Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Rations Continue

I see my faithful followers are still trekking to my little corner of Blogland, bearing gifts of kind wishes. What a staunch bunch! Forgive me for not doing my usual, individual replies and thanks to each and every one of you, but take it as read ( what kind of pun is that?) my grateful vibes are winging through the ether with love 'n' hugs ( if you're a huggy sort of person who doesn't shy away from close contact of the huggy bear kind). Must admit, once upon a time, I was just such a don't-invade-my-space, toffee nose gal, but somewhere along the way, I've changed into a definite hugger - trees probably included.

My first Blogland stop today was the POTD on Authorblog ( always a good place to begin) and I sidetracked to read Fireblossom's 'Love Poem', mentioned therein. I'd have been tempted to call it alternative love poem, as it was primarily the loved and lost type. But not all love stories are necessarily happy ever after, as we probably all know only too well.

I remember going to a party in my teens, bubbling with joy that my companion for the evening was a boy I had an almighty crush on. The venue was a large house and garden about a twenty minute walk away from where I lived, and as it was summertime, the garden was as crowded as the inside.

Somewhen during the evening, as the Trad Jazz music from the house was turned down from deafening to a loud roar, I was waiting in the garden for my 'date' to bring out an iced drink, when one of our mutual friends came up to me, not for a simple exchange of party chat, but to give me fair warning that the boy I'd arrived with was now inside, chatting up another girl for all he was worth. I can still remember the churning insides and sense of betrayal. So Fireblossom's poem really struck a chord, and sent me ferreting around to find one of my similar outpourings.

Doubt

Consciousness.
Realisation of a new day unfolds.
As a flower involuntarily opens
to the heat of the sun,
so my mind opens to the warmth of love,
basking.

But this morning, that first sunburst
is overwhelmed by a blizzard of doubt
that follows in its wake
and grips my heart with ice.

A gaping crevasse is waiting to engulf
the avalanche of my dreams
as they tumble ever closer
to its insidious brink.

PS Have just discovered I have been awarded a slimy, Zombie Chichen eyeball by, appropriately enough, the God Of Another World. How fortuitous is that? Unfortunately there was no mention of the eye lid, which is the real culprit. Oh well, an extra eye is aways handy - maybe for the back of the head... If there are those amongst you would wish to acquire same, feel free to consider yourselves so endowed.

15 comments:

  1. Your pain and betrayal, but our joy. Welcome back...at least long enough to post and share a poem. Lots of long words to play with in this one - loved "insidious brink" "gaping crevasse".

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  2. Wonderful poem and loved how you described the thoughts many of us have had.

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  3. You're doing well. Hang in there.

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  4. Ayii! I also received the Zombie Chicken, and have written about same today!

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  5. Lovely poem Jinksy - re the eye - my first husband always used to say that if there was an extra eye around it should be on the end of your index finger, so that you could see how much money you had in your pocket without tipping it into your hand to count it!

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  6. WOW! I love that poem! Genius as always. And we've all been there, haven't we? You sure captured the angst of the human heart perfectly. Jenni

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  7. Wow... What did you have to do to earn a slimy chicken eyeball?

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  8. Jewels - I don't seem to have an email sddress for you, so have to answer here...All I did was to befriend a fellow blog joker - C.Michael Cox!

    And Jenni - I can do angst as well as sweetness and light, but maybe not so many people like reading it!

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  9. As a flower involuntarily opens
    to the heat of the sun,
    so my mind opens to the warmth of love,
    basking.

    I love the words you choose, Jinksy, they beat against my heart every time...

    I do hope you will be full-eye functioning (groan) very soon, precious tree-hugger! xx

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  10. Jinksy,

    I finally realized we will always have a little place in our heart for those first boys that received our almighty crushes (thank heavens I did not know in the bruised days it first happened!). Love the poem and the memory. Reminded me of my own days gone by! Your way with words is smooth and easy to take in every morsel.

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  11. Hey Jinks, Sorry I've been away for a while, never seem to get a chance to get on the computer these days. What a lovely poem, I like the image of basking in the warmth of love. As we get older we know these early moments of love have been replaced by much deeper emotions but they are still special to us.

    I don't get the chicken thing...

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  12. Nice to see you back. I trust this is an old poem and the wintry doubts have given way to something a little more seasonal.

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  13. What I love about poems (like the one I've read in this post) is that they contain lots of emotions expressed in limited words. :)

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  14. Doubt is a great leveler, isn't it? Rat bastard.

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  15. That is a lovely, soulful poem Jinsky. Oh yes, I've been there. I went to a party with my long term boyfriend and walked into a bedroom and there he was 'in flagrante' with another. I was utterly utterly heartbroken. I wouldn't sleep with him you see! I never did.

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