clouds scud overhead
shadows trailing far below
mimic movements
from passing image
calligraphic reflections
trace words on paper
transient picture
encapsulated in time
beneath poet's pen
shadows trailing far below
mimic movements
from passing image
calligraphic reflections
trace words on paper
transient picture
encapsulated in time
beneath poet's pen
'melifluous moments' came to my mind!!
ReplyDeleteThree excellent haiku would be my suggestion. No punctuation required. Congrats.
ReplyDeleteCan't help you here at all. It feels unfinished, unframed yet.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful...but I'm not good with titles...hate that part of writing...
ReplyDeleteNot sure Jinksy but would say perhaps something to do with it being a transient theme. Well done for trying to make us think though!
ReplyDeleteTranscendental Navigation? No, sounds like a manual for hypnotists! Anyway, the imagery is magical, Jinksy.
ReplyDeleteI'd say, given the linear vertical movement, "Top To Bottom", "Heaven To Earth", "Falling Into Place", or something along those lines.
ReplyDeleteparticularly love the first one and agree with Dave King re: 3 haiku
ReplyDeleteI like it all together as a unit.
ReplyDeleteThe poet seemed to be an airplane passenger who peered out her window and received an inspiration.
Or so it struck me. You might call it "Scene From Seat 28A" or "Thoughts of an Airline Passenger" or some such.
Whatever you decide to call it, it's beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy the fluidity of the imagery in this one. It works for me.
ReplyDeleteCumulus Calligraphy
ReplyDelete3 separate pieces for me. But, your writing is so far superior to mine, I hesitate to state an opinion on your work here! As you know, I find your imagery brilliant!
ReplyDeleteHey Jinks. I like the way you've done three seperates but they are connected. All seem to have the theme of reflection and capturing scenes/images, but I'm not sure of a good title. I'm not too good on titles myself
ReplyDeleteI prefer a series of haikus to single ones. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteSince you have seen my blog you know that I'm no poet and thus can't comment as one should - but I can see what you see.
ReplyDeletePS Thank you for the nice comment!
Thanks for all your suggestions, Blogpals...I shall mull over them for a few weeks, in case the Work in Progress changes!
ReplyDeleteFor some reason "sifting" and "drifting" floated through my head. Love your imagery. I do hope you will tell us where you land when you lift your pen.
ReplyDelete