Tuesday, 31 August 2010

Present Perfect

Okay, you can stop thinking this is going to be a lecture on grammar, or even an advertisement for one of my staunch followers (they will know who they are!) . It's merely a way of introducing this:-

Fireblossom emailed the picture to me, after she'd discovered my poetry only blog, Alias Jinksy, for it exactly matches the tongue in cheek description I added after my Blog TitleHow kind and thoughtful was that?
If I were ever to be inveigled into a duel at dawn, I'd far rather  the chosen weapons were pen and ink, as opposed to épée or pistol.

Choose Your Weapons

There was an old lady called Pen
who liked to indulge now and then
in a battle of wits
with other odd twits
in a poetic duel - D'ye ken? 

N.B. Comments received in limerick form will be awarded with gold stars and putty medals.
This is a direct result of a plea made by Maggie for a return to the Verse and Worse spot so beloved of the one and only David McMahon...Remember that, folks?

Oh, and here's one more etheree for the pot that crept into my mind a while back:-

day off
on Monday
can play havoc
with your usual
routine, and alter time
as perceived by inbuilt clocks,
until body is uncertain...
Which day of the week it is today?
It's Tuesday, masquerading as Monday.


  1. Wonderful image. Fits perfectly indeed.
    Hadn't noticed you've got another blog. I'll be popping over as soon as I've written it'll be intersting to see the limericks appearing in your comments and pressed 'subscribe by email' and 'post comment'.

  2. There was an old codger named Bob
    Who with poets did like to hobnob
    He would not do the trick
    Of five-line limerick
    He's a bit of a poetry snob

  3. There once was a poet called Fred
    who wrote his limericks out in a form known by academics as free verse
    First write in in prose
    then, so no one knows
    Chop it up into lines that dont' go all the way across the page.
    It will be awesome.

  4. RWP -
    Maybe poetry snobs are the best,
    for they often outshine all the rest
    with their comical verse
    which, for better or worse,
    they leave in my welcoming nest!

  5. Doc-

    I would hope that a poet like Fred,
    would take advice into his head
    and follow tradition
    in this exposition -
    or tuck himself back in his bed!

  6. There was an old lady called Brenda,
    Whose lines were remarkably tender.
    When a male poet fell
    For the lines she wrote well,
    She shouted aloud 'I surrender!'

    They rejoiced in their poetic splendour
    Until they went out on a bender.
    She reverted to prose
    And then tore of her clothes
    And was strangled by her own suspender.

    (Oh dear! That DOES give my age away!)

  7. Dear Rinkly, I so like your style -
    it beats most Worse Verse by a mile,
    and shows that the wrinkles
    hide nothing but sprinkles
    of genius words, and your smile!

  8. I can barely respond in readable English much less limerick. Fun post for us spectators though.

  9. I’d much rather do this than work
    Nitpicking contracts I’ll shirk
    If clients should notice
    I’ll deny that I wrote this:
    For gradgrinds, poems are no perk.

    Oy! Probably best I deny it anyway.

    (Gets coat)

  10. Raining Acorns -

    I'm glad you have taken a rest
    from the labours with which you are blessed,
    for a five minute break
    such a difference can make,
    'til you're right back on form, with the best.

  11. I rarely know what day of the week it is, but isn't that the joy of being retired?

  12. I'm honoured you listened to me!
    Wrote a ditty for all to see.
    Every week without fail
    To your blog we will trail
    And read..... while we sup on our tea.

    Excellent idea!
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  13. Maggie, you're testing my skill...
    I'm not sure each week I could fill
    your great expectations
    of similar creations,
    but then again, if I can, I will!


    I so dearly want to respond
    and many examples are given,
    but I'm skeer't of the comp'ny
    and tongue-tied and wimpy,
    and shaking too much to go on.

  15. Kate - all of my blogpals are friends
    guaranteed to make wobbly-shakes end,
    so come out to play
    and scribble away -
    (or simply leap in the deep end!)

  16. Though I'd like them to be quite esthetic
    My limericks are all so pathetic
    So I bow to the queen
    With her words ever keen
    Jinsky, who waxes poetic

  17. Hilary-

    Though I'm nearing the end of my day
    I can't resist having a play
    to say how d'ye do
    to a blogpal like you -
    the queen of the camera! Olé!

  18. There once was a wannabe poet
    She often wrote couplets and triplets
    But she couldn’t write a limerick
    Just couldn’t figure out the trick
    So won’t you let her in on the secret?


  19. Pink Dogwood -

    Though couplets and triplets are fine,
    They won’t always work every time
    For a limerick’s swing
    Is always the thing
    That makes it the funnier rhyme!

  20. ha ha - I love your blog - so much fun :)

  21. To each one of ours she did nine--
    A wit quick like that is sublime.
    As I sit here and fiddle
    And come up with diddle,
    I applaud the queen of all rhymes.

  22. Raining Acorns -

    Well, it's really a bit of a pain
    to have such a kink in my brain
    that it churns out this stuff-
    seems it's never enough-
    and Oops! there I go once again!

  23. Dear Jinksy,

    A bit of free publicity's handsome
    worth ev'ry penny of a king's ransome
    so please tell all your readers
    if they shop with market leaders
    we offer an experience that's grandsome!

  24. Derrick-

    Good heavens, man, have you no shame,
    making me broadcast your name?
    If I hang out the flags
    and shoppers fill bags,
    I might make a commission claim!

  25. This whole comments section makes an incredibly fun read :-) Standing ovation to everyone and especially to Jinksy, who comes up with a clever and funny 'limericked' answer every time!

  26. I couldn't come up with a limerick if my next meal depended on it so I'm delighted that you're all so brilliant and happy to share !

  27. I might actually enjoy a good grammar lesson, but I'm an odd sort of duck. :)

  28. Hey Jinksy - you have greatly inspired me and my daughter - go check out the latest post on my blog :)

  29. I concede this round to Hilary, of The Smitten Image, who emailed this:-

    Oh my, you're incredibly quick
    From your words, I get such a kick
    A ballpoint for you
    A camera for me
    Is it any surprise that we click!

    I know of old that she and I can exchange banter and quick quips ad infinitum, so in the interest of brevity I declare her the winner of The Last Word Trophy in this case!

  30. What a cute little poem you've written.
    It's almost as cute as a kitten.
    No poet am I
    As hard as I try
    So that is the reason I'm quitt'n'
    :-) Dave

  31. Dave came to the table quite late,
    but I've managed to save him a plate
    that's full of some 'nosh',
    even though it's not posh,
    and I'm sorry for making him wait!

    PS - for 'nosh' read limerick!


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